My Practice Children

At work, I kinda see my students as a Mommy In-Training exercise program. I've got over 150 of them, so I have the opportunity to see many different personalities I could end up with as a mother. Some of them I'm indifferent to, some I dislike, and some I adore beyond words. There are only a few that I'd actually adopt.

One of them is Arda, even though I'd have my work cut out for me. He's a blonde-haired jock who assumes his role in all social situations as the alpha--even with me. It took a lot of work before he finally stopped challenging every single thing I did. Every single class was war. He was never mean about it, but simply couldn't comprehend how anyone could even dare tell him what to do--simply impossible. He wanted to bounce off the walls and entertain the class, make them all roll onto the ground in laughter. Often, he made me laugh so hard that I couldn't punish him, and he knew that was my weakness. How do you yell at a kid who's doing a ridiculous dance and singing a funny song?

Well, we had a breakthrough today!!!! I'm so happy. He's had authority problems with everyone, and this extends to manipulation and lying. Today, Ogeday, a child who can be explained simply by the word "monkey," came bounding up to me in the halls, frantically panting and exclaiming with his arms flailing all over, "TEACHER!!! ARDA SAID KUFUR!!!!"

Kufur means curse in Turkish. I know Ogeday's feelings were hurt more than anything, after he told me which kufur. He's a sensitive Starbucks advertisement who never, ever, under any circumstances, stops moving. But he has a heart of gold and can get pretty sad if people are mean to him.

I called Arda over. "Did you say a bad word?" I said with obvious disapproval.

He twisted, looked up at me with terrified big blue eyes, squirmed, but didn't answer.

I pushed him and kept demanding an answer. "Arda, did you say a bad word? Did you?"

He kept squirming, trembling. The fact that he couldn't even answer me was the first sign that he at last feared me enough to know better than to play around with me anymore. This alone was an accomplishment, but I needed more from him.

"Well? Answer me," I said, squaring my eyes on the poor terrified creature before me.

"On accident," he finally muttered under his breath.

"What? Yes or no."

"On accident, " he said again, then looked down to the ground.

"So you did?" I made him confess.

"Yes, I did," he released, darting his eyes to the ground in panic.

Immediately, I changed my tone. "Thank you for telling me the truth."

He looked up at me in shock. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

"Thank you for telling me the truth Arda. Do not do that again."

His eyes were still huge and amazed--you mean you're not gonna kill me? was written all over his face.

"Okay," he said. "I'm sorry."

"Okay."

Ahhhhhh now isn't that just adorable? It's so hard to be the "punisher" but at that moment I just wanted to scoop him up in my arms for his honestly and hug him until he popped.