overlook...
there you were all along.
Now I just need some time to
collect my wounds,
wrap the canyons,
stop the surge of water
flowing in the wrong direction.
Sit and wait.
Calm.
I had this dream in which
you moved my hair so slowly
to the side of my face, for a
better look.
I'd always thought you the
bravado one with greasy hands,
I mean those made for work and
forceful intuition.
But you seemed steeped in
honesty as you approached me
as though walking towards eternity
and all your dreams.
And I was arrested in silence,
profound respect pulsing me
not to move, not to disrupt
not to push or play or laugh
but just welcome you.
Then like a shoe that finds
the other shoe in the big
huge dark closet, we smiled
and began walking.
oh if only, where is that man that would trade everything for love? I sit for over a week in desolate pain, my heart wripped out of me again. I'm in axiety and depression, bed riddened frozen and drained. I heard the words I care so much for you and love you, only to discard me in an instant when the moment of truth arrived.
ReplyDeleteAHHH HE did WHAT?
ReplyDeleteArgh! I am sending sharp, needle-like lightening bolts across the globe to shatter his worthless skull into smithereens! That alg;rktha;gt I don't even have words for it. Moment of truth? I wonder...but anyways I am sending those lightening bolts. He's going cosmically DOWN!!! Grrrr.
Hun, get out of bed. Go for a walk in nature. Are you near nature? Oww :( Go for a walk. I have been bed-ridden before and you know what? It's not YOUR fault that he is like that! You are beautiful and wonderful and sweet and HE is the one with the problem. Don't let him take you down into his dark assholedom.
I know you're a super sensitive little fishy, but you're gonna have to just get out the big guns and move ahead sweetie. I feel for you. I've had my freaking heart yanked and shredded.
The universe holds you and loves you, remember :)
Ahhh thank you so, so much. I had contact with that man again, and again he was mean in how he ended it with me instead of using compassion, I guess he was using me or was infatuated with me, once everything fell on the table, nothing meant anything anymore. What a fool I was. And he also acted as a great friend to me, hah, all just to appease me. I think little by little now that I see how he treated me in the end, I have to get strong. But I will never forget this experience. What a vulnerable stupid fool I let myself be. And yes, mostly because I am that sensitive fishy, that gets carried away.
ReplyDelete